(Source: softwaring)

policecodeforzombieontheloose:

bowtiesontimelords:

So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager. 

"Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?"

"Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team."

"What team?"

And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.

And I thought he was gay 

(Source: quantum-sheep)

maskedlinguist:

I am never tired of this.

maskedlinguist:

I am never tired of this.

(Source: memewhore)

mulders:

mulders:

I’m about to have a grand fucking time

I got a 100

Illustrations by Daniel Teixeira

malefica-anima:

asmilinggoddess:

asmilinggoddess:

now that im in the space mood i’d like to remind each and every one of you that NASA drew a dick on mars. we drew a dick on another planet.  that is mankind’s legacy.

image

THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE SURFACE OF MARS. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS.

Woah it’s true.

vilicity:

Anaïs Nin

vilicity:

Anaïs Nin

(Source: vilicity)

(Source: blacktvlip)

And then sometimes a day would come, a gray one (or a sunny one) when she missed him so fiercely she felt empty, not a woman at all anymore but just a dead tree filled with cold November blow. She felt like that now, felt like hollering his name and hollering him home, and her heart turned sick with the thought of the years ahead and she wondered what good love was if it came to this, to even ten seconds of feeling like this.

Stephen King, Lisey’s Story (via thinksideways)

(Source: mylifethroughaplasticlens)

dutchster:

guys i got this new dildo but i’m not sure how it works?

image